Archive for July, 2009

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Encouragement Words For Surving After The Loss Of Your Boyfriend

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Are you in pain or do you know someone who has just lost a boyfriend? Well this is probably the hardest situation to be faced with. It takes a lot of self encouragement and some encouragement words from people close to you.

There are certain things feeling that you go through when trying to heal or when dealing with the death of a loved one. Below is a list of some of the most promonent ones – By reading these I hope you will be more aware and will be able to know how to handle each phase.

Disbelief

Disbelief is the first feeling that comes when you are told about some bad news especially the loss of someone you love. This is especially true when you have just been talking to your boyfriend a few moments ago. This initial feeling may last for a couple of hours and sometimes days. In most cases it lasts until the funeral.

Shock

Seeing or hearing news about the death can be quite shocking. In most cases this happens at the funeral after reality strikes. This hits you as soon as you realise that your boyfriend is actually gone – dead. In most instances this feeling does not last long.

Anger

You may be angry at the world, at people who were there when this happened or at yourself. If you do not properly manage anger, it can get really destructive. Guide your words, thoughts and actions at this time. Look into the internet for some daily words of encouragement to get you through the day when you feel like venting.

Pain

Pain is tormenting and longer lasting. It calls for some consistent exposure to words of encouragement. Pain is really a nasty feeling. It feels like a thorn that mercilessly prickles the heart beyond what human nature can bare. Although it may take longer but eventually it dies. Memories never go away, yes but the heart ache stops at some point.

Another feeling that is attached to pain is helplessness and also regret. No matter what you go through, no matter the years you spend grieving, the pain due to the loss of your boyfriend does go away eventually.

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How to Get Over A Breakup

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Falling in love is wonderful, but unfortunately, it also carries the potential of a breakup.  This simply means that an individual comes to a point in their relationship when the love that they once shared has grown cold and the preferred alternative is for the individuals to go their seperate ways. A number of reasons can explain the separation.  Lack of communication, irreconcilable differences, and infidelity are some of those reasons. Hence, since breakups are common, it is a good idea to know how to recover from one.  Some of those suggestions on how to recover from a break up can include the passing of time and counseling.

As the Sands Flow Through an Hourglass

When people are reeling over the shock of a break up the most important thing to remember is that time will truly make things better.  It has been aptly said that time heals all wounds and in regards to experiencing a break up this axiom holds true. So, even though this isn’t an instant cure and it will certainly take some time, in the end doing this really works.  In addition, this course of action may vary according to the needs of the individual.  Specifically, for some the timeframe may be simply a week or so, but for others the healing process may require months or even years. Broken relationships between humans involve a range of emotions making them difficult to deal with at times.  Therefore, the pain and emotional trauma is very real due to the fact that the person has invested themselves into that relationship.

Consequently, they may feel betrayal, guilt, disappointment, and more.  Most of these emotions can be experienced because of the fact that a person has lost his heart to someone.  You can feel this whether it was your fault or not.  How to Recover From a Breakup is an excellent place to get additional resources to assist in recovering from a breakup.

Counseling 

Another powerful method that can be utilized and addresses the question of how to recover from a breakup involves working with a counselor.  A counselor is a skilled professional who recognizes the human feelings, life’s complexities and how individuals comply with dissatisfactions that are experienced.  Typically these are people with college degrees and lots of experience with helping people. Often, a counseling session provides the opportunity for the hurting individual to share from their heart and mind in a safe, non-judgmental and nurturing environment.  Usually, the trained counselor will just listen to what the client is sharing and, as the opportunity presents itself, provide any insights or practical suggestions on how to recover from a breakup.  Counselors also help clients consider what has led to the breakup in the client’s life. 

Click here to learn more about How to Recover From a Breakup.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dealing with Anger Management

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

Anger.  One of the most charged emotions a person can feel. To some, when it happens, they are not taken over by the emotion.It is maybe something that is a small irritation. It is something they can easily control.

For others, this can trigger intense fury and rage.  When that happens it gets out of control and turns destructive.This leads to other problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in your general quality of life.

A person who lets it get out of control is basically at the mercy of this emotion and its unpredictableness.

The goal of anger management counseling is to reduce the emotional feelings the physical arousal that anger causes.

With my experience in anger management San Diego I would like to explore a couple of ways to control this emotion.

First thing you can do is relax.One relaxation technique is to breath deeply.  You can also you calming images.  Another tool to use is to repeat slow calming words.

You don’t have to just use these techniques for anger.Try to practice it everyday if you know that anger is an issue in your life.

Second is to change the way you think.  Simply put, when you get angry you may swear, talk loudly, and express yourself very colorfully.  These are just an expression of your inner thoughts.What you are going to have to do is change the angry irrational thoughts into more reasonable rational ones.

Instead of allowing yourself to feel you have been wronged, try to tell yourself that this is not the end of the world.

Third, you have to communicate more effectively.When a person gets in a heated discussion or gets angry, the communications often breaks down.Rather than thinking before speaking, their emotions let them say whatever.

Slow down so you can think about how you are going to communicate your thoughts.

Finally, try to change the environment you are in.  A lot of times when we are angry or frustrated, just stopping and going someplace else can change our moods completely.

Changing your environment might just be enough to make your emotions calm and control your anger.

Although not all that we can say, these will be good pieces of advice to control anger.  If you find it does not, you will want to go get some professional help maybe with a family therapist San Diego.

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Don’t Regret the Easy Way Out

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

You can Save Your Relationship

No matter how bad it seems now

You’ve heard it over and overr… “Relationships are tough”. “Love hurts”. “Love is blind”. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah… Open your eyes, human…

The first truth about human relationships is that we are all idiots, who even if given a Life GPS, if one existed,
couldn’t find our way through a day by ourselves. Well, maybe not all of us, but certainly I was one. We’ve learned NOT to use logic
constantly listen to loser friends and people we don’t even know
(as I heard this this past week), we will call a complete stranger, ie- a radio station host and ask advice! IDIOTS!
We want someone else to help us blame
away from ourselves and flood ourselves with sympathty as we drown in our own sorrow.
How pathetic is that?

Isn’t it time to stop being so self-centered and realize that, it DOES take two to tango! Now there is a resource that I learned to help us.

My parents modeled the mold for strong relationships. When my Dad died at the age of 83 they were married for 56 years. Wow! 56 years
with the same partner. Think of it. That is REAL success. As one of four, I would attest that
our family is strong. They were not only successful in their relationship, but also great parents to the four of us.

Well as much as my parents made the mold, we kids broke it. Seventy-five percent of us divorced. Even in the US the average is only 50%!
I not only broke the mold, I completely
obliterated it. Why? This is why I am writing this to you. I’m one of the idiots who doesn’t know enough to learn about saving a relationship
and would rather find the fast way out, only to fail again. Yep, I’m in my fourth marraige. BUT, guess what? I am much better off now, than before!

Life is like business. Actually business is like life. Is that the same? To be successful in either you have to focus, measure, change,
measure again and constantly hone your course. Both take work and attention and if left on their own will typically fail. For us stupid
it is easier to rationalize failure than to achieve success. So how do we change that?

I can sit here and tell you about everything I learned, but by the time I finish, you will be 56 years old in the making too. Besides I’m
the definition of failed relationships. What I will tell you is about a resource I came across The Magic of Making Up, I wish I had in my twenties. I would have learned faster and not have taken most of my life to learn.
 

Find out more about Making Up here.

 

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The Real Facts About Pheromones

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

There has been a lot of talk over the last few years about the power of pheromones and how we should all be buying them out of a bottle from a perfume shop if we want to attract the opposite sex.It is important to note however that this information is usually produced by the companies who make and sell pheromones and so is usually very untrue. Lets take a look at the true information and clear up some of the confusion.

Others don’t work. You cannot buy a bottle of either someone else’s pheromone parfum or synthetic ones and expect them to work. The uniqueness of each pheromone comes about from the various physical and emotional states of everyone. If you cover yourself in someone else’s pheromones it will not be a match and the positive effects will not occur. Further to this your own pheromones will mix with the fake and create a very unattractive pheromones product

pheromones are not sweat. Believe it or not your pheromone peak is not reached when you’ve just been exercising and your clothes are sweat soaked. Although pheromones can be produced in the sweat glands, they are clearly different productions of the body.Bacteria in your sweat gives of that unpleasant odor, but many people still mistake this for pheromones, which do in fact have no smell of their own.


Deodorants cover up pheromones.  A problem that a lot of people have is that they want to use their pheromones to attract others but don’t want to sweat or smell so cover their bodies in deodorant and perfume fragrances. When the skin has just been cleaned, this is when it produces the most pheromones. Thus, waiting a good 10-15 mins before sticking on your smelly products will give the skin time to cover itself fully. Also, try not to apply a strong or overpowering deodorant or perfume that masks your natural pheromone production

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