Archive for July, 2009

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Labor and Delivery with Midwifery

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Pregnancy and the act of labor and delivery, although joyful, also a source of pain.  Obviously joy because of the new baby, but ask any woman, and they will tell you a source of unspeakable pain.

Well because there is that pain involved, two schools of thought have come about on how to deal with labor and delivery.  I am going to offer some perspective on one particular school of thought that I have gained first hand experience with by being a homebirth midwife San Diego.

There is the medical model for delivery which is associated with drugs to kill the pain, and sometimes cesarean to complete the delivery.

While there is a lesser known model, not as widely accepted, for those that have experienced it and believe in it, they consider it a safer alternative for the woman.

That model is the midwifery model as it is called.  That model is in stark contrast with the medical model.Where you have the medical model which depends a lot on medicine, midwifery prefers to rely on the natural.Midwifery philosphy believes that pregnancy, labor, and delivery should happen as naturally as possible because it is a natural process.

This model is a profession practiced by midwives. Midwives San Diego are generally woman, who attend the birth, often times at the mother’s home.  This midwife would then assist the woman in trying to get through labor as naturally as possible without medicine.

Contrary to most people’s opinion, when medicine is not used during labor, it allows the labor to proceed much faster without the use of drugs to slow the labor down.

The midwife is a professional with a regulatory board that certifies and licenses the individual. 

Although a lot of the times they are not a nurse or a doctor, a midwife sometimes is a nurse also.

Even though they are not formal doctors or nurses, they will have some medical equipment for emergencies like resuscitation devices and equipment for suturing.

So this describes what a midwife is and what midwifery is about in relation to pregnancy and delivery.

Their objective is to let the labor and delivery to occur as naturally as possible.This reduced the need and use of a c-section.Does not subject you to hospital procedures that are invasive such as episiotomys.There will be less use of managing it with medical techniques such as breaking the water or using any types of drugs for the pregnancy.And the part woman love the most, usually labor and delivery happen much faster naturally.

Hopefully this article sheds some light on the benefits of midwifery and having a midwife for your pregnancy.  At the very least, hopefully it gives you more options to explore.  Remember this is first hand knowledge from a San Diego midwife.

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Tips for Coping with Marriage Separation

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

3 Tips On How To Cope When Circumstances Cause You To be Separated From Your Partner 

A separation in a marriage can occur for many reasons, but the end result is always the same.  Regardless for the reason of the separation, whether it is because of military service, long term travels or marital issues, isolation and loneliness are difficult to handle. Frequently partners who find themselves separated because the marriage isn’t going well, face additional challenges and hardships as they try to discover the best course of action: divorce or reconciliation. Happily, there are things that can be done when facing a marriage separtion that can make the time apart a bit easier to deal with. 

Social Needs

If your spouse has been the number one social partner in your life, you will need to find a new way to meet your social needs while coping with marriage separation. Particularly, if you are home caring for you children, your friends are a vital link to the outside world. So you can spend some time with a good friend, it is perfectly acceptable to leave the kids with Grandma or a babysitter for a couple of hours one afternoon. It is an ideal time for you to seek support for the challenges you are facing and talk about coping with marriage separation. 

Look At It From a Different Viewpoint

For some couples, coping with marriage separation means allowing yourselves time to sit back and evaluate the relationship from a new perspective. A separation does not alway result in divorce, but can be used to work through hurt feelings and prepare to come back together as a couple. It can be difficult to mend a broken relationship when close proximity allows you to continue to tear each other down. Use this time wisely for self reflection and thinking through the reasons you got married in the first place, particularly if your separation is meant for the purpose of working through marital problems. 

What to Do with the Children 

Children can also have a hard time coping with marriage separation, when one spouse is suddenly out of the picture most of the time. Whether the separation is a matter of choice or necessity, it is critical to talk with your kids about it. Spend time with your children, reassuring them that both parents still love them just as much. Often children misunderstand the separation and wrongly believe that if parents can leave each other, that they might leave the children as well. Give your children the opportunity to tell you about their fears, and never stop reassuring them of your love and constant presence in their lives.

Couples living apart are often overwhelmed at times, by the challenges of the separation. Take time to gain a new perspective on your marriage while seeking the support of your friends or family in dealing with the separation. Remember, your children are also coping with marriage separation and will require your assistance. These steps can pave the way for a positive outcome and make coping with marriage separation a bit easier to deal with.

Feel free to stop by www.relationshipsimproved.com to learn about strategies for healthy dating, partnership, or even divorce.

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4 Things You Need To Do To Stop A Breakup

Monday, July 20th, 2009

What Can Be Done To Stop A Breakup 

The one problem with falling in love is that sometimes the two people involved can’t work everything out and must break up.  To stop a breakup happening you may have to engage in certain behaviors while ceasing others. Initially, we’ll explore behaviors you should adopt, then we’ll dive into some of those behaviors you’ll want to avoid. 

What To Do: 

Practice The Three C’s – Calm, Cool & Collected 

You shouldn’t be surprised by a breakup which allows ample time for emotional preparation but in the rare case where it comes as a shock you need to get a grip on yourself.  The last thing you want is for someone to remember you as having emotional problems or anger management issues.  It is good to remember that it is the first shot and that you can reconcile at any time. 

Let Them Get What They Want 

You’ll find that many of life’s best things come from helping others.    The best course of action when a breakup is imminent, rather than attempting to stop it, is to be considerate towards the other party and allow them to achieve what they desire. Although it might not seem logical, pause for a few seconds to imagine how this might work. Quietly affirm that a breakup is the best course of action, and that you feel that it will be a positive thing for both of you. While you are disappointed and hurt, yes, this is for the best. The other individual will start to consider why you even thought breaking up was the right thing to do. It’s something people are likely to do. 

A great Relationship Guru, T W Jackson, goes into more detail in his best selling ebook the Magic of Making Up. It is a great resource and has invaluable advice for stopping a break up and getting your ex back.  If you can’t wait and have an urgent need for this resource, you can check it out here:  Stop The Split

Steps NOT To Take To Stop A Breakup:

Electronic Stalking

It doesn’t matter how you found out that this individual wants to end the relationship, stop text messaging.  You know, the messages that continually ask why or confess your undying love.  Those messages to the parents, the friends, the roommate, the relatives trying to rally support behind your case to keep that person involved with you.  These actions are terrorism, and the result will probably be a trip to see the judge, followed by a restraining order.  This tactic won’t help you to stop a breakup, but it will reinforce the idea that the breakup was necessary.  And realize this: their family is wondering why they even started to date you, not pushing them to reconnect with you again. 

Drunken Dialing  

This is another term coined by the great relationship guru T W Jackson who has a best selling ebook “The Magic of Making Up”.  We all know what this is, and we all have done it.  While out with friends in an effort to forget your relationship woes, you down a few too many alcoholic beverages.  After having some alcohol, you believe that you are now ready to call your ex-girlfriend and win back her affections.  Wrong, Wrong, WRONG!  You will only make a fool of yourself, and convince that other person they need to get an unlisted phone number. 

While the items above have been written with a little humor, they are very real.  If you have fallen victim to any of the Things NOT To Do, and missed all The Things to DO, do not fret.  There is help and there is a solution.  You should have a look at the copy of The Magic Of Making Up:  Stop The Split

As love is carried out from the heart it can be very traumatic when a break up happens.  Therefore, it is extremely important to get the help and support you need to help stop a breakup, and get you through this trying time.  Time is the greatest emotional healer of them all, and lots of people will be holding you in their thoughts. 

Jennifer Clark has recently published a relationship repair website at  www.relationshipsimproved.com as a resource for couples struggling with different aspects of dating, marriage, sex, or divorce.  If you need more advice or additional resources on how to develop better relationships seek us out.

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Important Tips Before Availing a Childcare Management Service

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

It is ideal to begin your search for childcare providers during the time you discovered you due date. This gives you plenty of time to research your childcare options. Thus, searching for information like child care organization can be a great help. Depending on the type of childcare you choose, there are several items of importance to consider before selecting a provider. Are you going to need in-home care in which a single caregiver comes to your home If this is the type of care you need, be aware that many of these providers are not licensed nor are they required to be licensed. In this case, it is of great significance that you are able to get references from former employers for at least 5 years. Ask for names and phone numbers; don’t hesitate to call the parents who have used their services. If the provider refuses or is unable to provide this information for you, move on. In-home caregivers may be left alone with your child, they may be unlicensed and are often costlier than other types of childcare; caution should be exercised when choosing this type of childcare.

Another alternative you can choose is a family childcare, this is a more casual environment with few number of children enrolled. This particular childcare set-up needs you to drop off and pick up your son or daughter at the person’s home. Often there are charges made if you are late in picking up your child; the caregiver is more like a nine-to-five business and may strictly enforce this rule. These types of childcare providers should be licensed, and the type of care provided is left up to the individual so again, references from other parents are crucial and again, by searching more information like “child day care management” can give you a significant help before deciding.

A day care center is another option you can consider and this must be licensed. Your son or daughter will be among other children, acquiring less individualized care than the former options. However, there are many benefits to this type longer hours of operation, less stringent rules on pick up and drop off times, and more activities with more children to interact with. The down side may be the more children your child is exposed to the more chance of illness and other problems resulting from interacting with many young children at once.

It is the best occasion for you to able to visit your prospective childcare providers before you have your baby. Take along a notepad with you; make notes of any positive or negative items you will want to check into later. Checklists and some important artilces provided by several websites like daycare tipscan be printed out, using your notes for comparison. If you are going to be returning to work after maternity leave, having several providers lined up will make your intro back to work less stressful. If you are working out of your home, or work part time, it is still beneficial to have a childcare provider on call for emergencies. This would be a drop-in provider who can be called at the last minute and basically is an on-call provider. When you have a drop-in childcare alternative, you will aslo have some time to get back into the post-baby routine. Even a few hours a week can give you time to do the grocery shopping, keep doctor’s appointments, have lunch with a friend or just get out of the house for an hour.

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Surviving Depression

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Depression is one of most powerful human emotions.It is one of those emotions if you leave untreated, could lead to something more serious for those suffering from it severely.

Everyone has those moments when they feel unhappy.  That is natural. But clinical depression goes beyond that.It is a disease.  But it is treatable.

I would like to offer some advice and tips that I have gained from my experience as a therapist in San Diego.

So when is depression clinical depression?

Firstly, a person might start to feel like everything is hopeless and sad.This when someone feels like everything is pointless.  Or life is not worth living. Which might lead to suicidal thoughts and feelings.

This can last for 2 weeks or more.When your depression is lasting that long, that is when you are moving to the state of clinical depression.

And when you hit that tipping point, you need to seek out a therapist.  Do not leave your condition untreated when it hits that point.Believe me, from my experience as a depression counselor I know.

So once you are at that point, you have to do certain things. Because sometimes imbalances in your body or chemistry in your brain can cause depression, you may need to treat it medically.You could use antdrepressant drugs as treatment.

Of course as a counselor, I prefer to treat it through depression counseling.A counselor helps a person start to get to the root of their depression and come to grips with it.

They can also look into using another form of therapy called cognitive behavior therapy which addresses how you thinkg.The goal is to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones by questioning them.

A therapist can also help you use relaxation techniques.If stress is the cause of depression, a good way to combat that form of stress is through relaxation.

Most of all a depression counselor will be the most effective person to find out what is causing the depression.

They are good in finding out if there was something that happened recently that may cause this.  They can find out if it is caused by something that happened in the past.  Or they can find out if it is caused by something going on in your body.  Whether it is some physiological change.

Depression is a condition that is treatable.But when you don’t know what caused it, you will not be able to treat it.  That is where finding a good therapist or counselor can help tremendously.

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